12 signs you’re a second child

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You may only be two, but the differences between how they treat you and how they treated your four year old sister are huge.

  1. You’ve bypassed baby TV completely, you shout “baby” at the likes of ‘Waybuloo’ and ‘In the Night Garden’ (the first child’s favourites) and prefer the likes of ‘Swashbuckle’ and ‘Tree Fu Tom’.
  2. You already know how to diss people. “Bye bye bum head”, “go away Mrs Poo” and (my personal fav) “you’re ear wax” are already your well-versed put-downs.
  3. You know all the words your sister isn’t allowed to say and enjoy nothing more than shouting “die!” “kill!” over your Shreddies at breakfast time.
  4. Even though you’re actually a really good eater with a sophisticated palette (you’re partial to the odd Falafel and love a bit of smoked salmon), you eat the same rotating  four bland meals your fussy sister will now only consume.
  5. You’ve never had baby toys, well only for about three months. You prefer to play with Lego, Barbies and marbles.
  6. You already know all the words to ‘Let it go’.
  7. You have a dummy, drink out of a bottle, and still have the sides on your cot as mummy doesn’t seem to be in any rush to address any of these things – she’s never even opened her baby book in the entire time you’ve been around.
  8. 90% of your wardrobe comprises hand me down clothes and shoes. Sometimes girls’ ones.
  9. Your sister had a black out blind, night light and baby monitor. You’ve got an old bedsheet draped over your curtains, the light from the hall, and they just assume that they’ll hear you from downstairs if you cry loud enough.
  10. You’ve learnt the value of telling tales, especially on your sister. Mummy and daddy always seem to believe you, the fools!
  11. You don’t have any memorabilia. No sign of a memory box or one of those books they had for your sister. No mugs with your footprints on and no cute thank you / birthday / Christmas cards with your picture on the front.
  12. You don’t go to classes, unlike your sister who had an active social life split between baby massage, water babies, Monkey Music, RhymeTime, and weekly soft play visits. Their idea of a good time for you is dragging you to your sister’s gymnastics class and getting cross when you refuse to sleep in the buggy.

What you don’t realise is, you can pretty much get away with anything as you’re their baby. They don’t tell you off half as much as they did your sister, and you’ve never been near the naughty step. You’re cute and adorable and will always be known as ‘the little one’. Unless that is, another one comes along, in which case – word of advice – you may need to up your game.

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