Note: blue smiling lady has been drawn by another child. Crying floating heads by daughter
As we near the end of the school year, and the first ever term at primary school, I have realised that starting school is tough. There are so any rules to follow, new things to learn, and pressure to appear more grown up. I’m not talking about my five year old, I’m talking about myself!
This school malarky is flipping hard and a serious test of not only my baking / sewing / volunteering potential, but most importantly my memory. I’m in a giant ongoing game of The Generation Game desperately trying to remember things. Instead of a cuddly toy and a toaster it’s mufty days and Harvest festivals.
So, I’ve set the following goals for the new year and term:
- To not get stressed by the volumes of correspondence. I WILL NOT be defeated by four different letters arriving in an a variety of formats (email, school bag, Parentmail, website, to keep me on my toes) containing 15 different dates to remember to bring / take / dress as something in the next two weeks alone.
- To develop the ability to produce costumes at the drop of a hat, perhaps even develop some sort of stage wardrobe & prop store to cover off all eventualities. Wise man or angel you say? Tarts and vicars? No problem.
- To not be consumed by guilt for not volunteering to sweep leaves, read in class or fundraise due to severe time management issues owing to the presence of toddler and (almost) full time job.
- As above, but ref: not joining the PTA. Although it does feel like being back at Uni, studying English Literature, and not joining the student magazine (which I always imagined would be like Press Gang), because quite frankly it would have interfered with important engagements at the Student Union bar.
- As per stage wardrobe, also build and cultivate a larder purely to contain any manner of random items requested (jam jars, Smarties tubes and “unwanted bottles of booze” – does such a thing exist?)
- Not to be phased by the pressure to appear presentable twice a day, five times per week, even if your job working from home doesn’t always require this to be the case (“work uniform” = leggings and oversized t-shirt).
- To always do the homework, EVERY NIGHT, and not pretend you’ve done it by writing made up things in the reading report book (NB fellow mums, teachers, headmistress – I HAVE NOT done this..I promise..)
- To not pass off Tesco fairy cakes as your own by simply removing the packaging and placing them in a tin for the cake sale.
- To not get concerned / worried / competitive about your child’s friend’s writing / drawing and reading abilities. So what if her friends like to draw butterflies and flowers, there’s nothing wrong with drawing row upon row of vacant crying bodyless faces.
- To not laugh when regaled with tales of naughty behaviour from classmates, including showing willies and hiding toilet paper. School is for grown ups.
- To give up trying to decipher what could have possibly been served up for lunch working from descriptions like “grey balls” and “giant potatoes with long things.”
Next year I resolve to start the term as a proper, grown up, dedicated member of the school mum fraternity. I’m even ordering a pin board for all the letters and giant calendar for Christmas…